i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
