Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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