adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
