he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
