called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize