the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
