a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
