I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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