and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
