i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
