D3 body, D1 cock
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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