dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
