What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
