So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
