not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
