she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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