Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
