i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
