yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
