In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
