Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
