Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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