Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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