I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
