I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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