I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
