i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
