i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
