You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is Oprah even human
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
