yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
