i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
