He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just had sex on a roof
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
