Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
