If i come over, it means nothing
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
