Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
