just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
