dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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