they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We are two peas in an std pod
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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