If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
third nipple confirmed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
