No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
