yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
