Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize