she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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