jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
