bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
