____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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