When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
