I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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