I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
