I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
