They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
