yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize