I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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