I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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