It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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