turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
