If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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